Play Day!!

Kasey had Wednesday off for Veteran's Day and we were really looking forward to a day together as a family. It started out sleeping in until almost 9. We've actually come to realize that Kalin wakes up several times in the early morning hours (and by early I mean 6). If we get up to use the restroom we'll hear him talking to himself and making noise but he ends up putting himself back to sleep. So on these rare occasions that he sleeps in this late it always gets us wondering how many times he's woken up and made some noise but since we didn't come get him, he just went back to sleep. Of course, we're always a little bit concerned that he's cried and screamed for us but we've slept through it - that hasn't happened in many, many months though. The one time we know that happened was probably 8 months ago and he woke up with some throw-up in his bed and his nose was all stuffy from crying. We felt sooo bad and spent the next couple of weeks paranoid that it was going to happen again. But it appears that he is just so happy and comfortable in his crib these days that if we don't come get him while he's talking - he'll just go back to sleep. It does make me wonder what will happen when we put him in a toddler bed where he'll be able to get out by himself. I'm sure I'll have to get used to early mornings again.

So, our morning started off leisurely. Kasey had wanted to spend some time in a coffee shop reading so he did that for a couple of hours. We then took a marvelous family walk and played in the park on the way home. While Kalin took a nap, I caught up on my NCIS and Kasey read some more. Before I knew it, it was time for me to get ready for work. It had felt so much like a Saturday that I kept forgetting I had to go to work. It was lovely having Kasey home for an extra day and spending this time together. I'm so looking forward to Thanksgiving week when Kasey will be home for most of the week! I, of course, will still have to work in the evenings (hooray for retail).

Check out Kalin's sweet new ride - given to us by the Prior's.

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So Kalin has been learning new words everyday. He has even started combining words into two word phrases. Examples are: buh-bye Dada, Mama come, buh-bye car, blue ball. Sometimes when we walk Kasey outside as he is on his way to work Kalin will say "Buh-bye Dada. Work-y". I don't know why he says "work-y" and not just "work" but it's cute. He loves blowing kisses now and will blow them to both Kasey and I as we leave for work.

He's becoming more of a dare-devil as well - which has resulted in more tumbles off the stool.

He has definitely entered the stage of "I want to do it on my own". So we're learning to release just a little more control as we help and teach Kalin to do things on his own.

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Now for some thoughts of my own. I'm trying to think through some issues regarding parenting and Kasey and I had a good discussion yesterday but I'm still in the process of formulating my position and thoughts on the matter. Here's my dilemma: Hearing what the professionals have to say about child development (emotional, behavioral, psychological) and making sure that I don't use their findings or opinions to influence me into raising children through methods that would go against God's Word. I've read many things from professionals regarding what "healthy" development looks like and many times it seems as though they want us to use that as an excuse to allow our kids to act certain ways. I sometimes get the impression that certain behaviors should be allowed because it's just our kids showing their individuality or developing their personality. Could those behaviors not also be looked at as that sin nature that's in all of us that rears it's ugly head when we don't get our own way or think we know what's best? I want to make sure that I'm not making excuses for Kalin but that I am teaching and disciplining in a Godly manner while still having the patience and grace necessary for where Kalin is developmentally and spiritually. I would enjoy hearing other people's thoughts/advice.

New Schedule

We've come to find some sort of routine for our family this past month. This change in our schedule and decrease in "family time" has been exhausting. This is what a typical week looks like: Sunday - church, Kalin naps, early dinner, Kasey heads to youth group making it home just in time to say goodnight to Kalin; Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday - typical day schedule for Kalin and I while I attempt to clean house, do dishes, do laundry, make sure there's a dinner plan for my boys, run any errands that need running, take a daily walk and make sure Kalin and I have ample playtime together, I head out to work shortly after Kasey gets home; Tuesday - typical daytime schedule plus babysitting Luke Meyer for a couple hours in the afternoon, a rushed family dinner, then I'm off to Bible Study; Saturday - every once in awhile I work in the morning then the rest of the day is spent relaxing with family. Because I don't have evenings anymore to accomplish anything inside or outside the house I've had to start doing more during the day. Thankfully, Kalin has become really good at playing by himself which allows me this time to accomplish things. However, I've noticed that there are some days when I feel like I never actually spent time with Kalin - I fed him, changed him, got him down for naps, took him for a walk and read him a story before nap time - but the rest of the time he was playing by himself while I tried to keep things clean and running smoothly for the household. Those are the days that I have a really hard time leaving the house for work because I feel like I didn't actually have time for my kid.

Kasey and I have realized how good this time has been for Kalin and Kasey's relationship. They've grown closer together with me out of the picture for a few hours every night. Ideally we shouldn't have had to figure this out through such drastic measures - 5 nights a week is a little much in my opinion, I think maybe 1 or 2 would have been better, but it has helped us see that I can indeed have a life outside of the house. What a concept, huh? I still don't want to be working and I definitely don't want to be spending this much time away from my family but if I just need to get out of the house a couple evenings a week - whether it be for bible study, meeting with a friend, or just going out on my own - we now know that it is doable and beneficial. So after we feel comfortable enough in our financial situation where I can quit working, we will be taking steps towards me having an outside life.

Something else we've learned through this experience - Kasey and I need to communicate more regarding house rules and do's and don'ts. We've found ourselves in several situations where one parent is telling Kalin he can do something and the other one pipes in with "Oh, I don't let him do that" and vice-versa. In the past, I've pretty much been the one to make the rules and since I was always around to enforce them, Kasey learned what I normally allowed and didn't allow. Now rules and games are being made and played while I'm gone so I'm having to play catch-up the next day. For the most part it's small issues that we have to deal with - we're on the same page when it comes to major, common sense, safety rules.

So this whole new experience has been exhausting, educational, and yes even a little bit beneficial - but I can't wait for it to be over.