The New Normal

I liked structure. I liked being able to plan my day according to my own terms. I loved making schedules and lists; mainly I loved crossing things off of my list as they were accomplished.

Kalin arrived and all of that went out the window. My days were filled with uncertainty and endless hours of just sitting on the couch, nursing and holding Kalin, trying to figure out what he needed next. I couldn't even plan going to the bathroom. For the next couple months or so, that was the new norm. I remember asking the doctor when I should start getting Kalin on a schedule. He told me at this age and with me being a stay-at-home mom it may not be worth it to try too hard to get Kalin on a sleeping and eating schedule because it would probably change in a couple of weeks. So I continued to live on whatever schedule Kalin needed.

A few months in, Kalin started sleeping for 3 or 4 hours in a row at night with about six 40 minute naps in our arms throughout the day while being content to lay on the floor or sit in his bouncer for about 50% of his awake, non-nursing time. The other 50% was spent nursing and crying. I wasn't getting much done around the house. This became the new norm.

By 4 or 5 months the time spent nursing dropped drastically as he was able to become more efficient. He still had naps in 40 min. segments in our arms because everytime we went to put him down he would wake right back up. He was now able to sleep for 8 hour stretches at night although he wasn't very consistent. We were delighting in our extra sleep but wishing we could have it every night. We found that it's almost worse and much more annoying to get a couple of good nights in a row and then have a really bad night. We soon learned not to take those good nights for granted. Most days Kalin could be happy sitting in his bouncer while I took my showers or made dinner. The daylight started to last longer and we were finally able to have family walks in the evening which everybody enjoyed. Life was good.

6 Months. Success!! I was FINALLY able to put Kalin down for naps (still short) with some nursing and minimal rocking. I actually get to take regular showers before Kasey comes home for lunch!! I found time to e-mail people, call people, and do some housework!! Evening walks became the norm. Kalin started eating solids (which really didn't help with is sleep at all!!) and we found a new routine and a new norm to our daily tasks.

7 and 8 Months. Kalin started not to sleep so well. Our arms and backs were hurting from leaning over his crib to pat and soothe him back to sleep. We start rocking him again at night and Kasey actually starts sleeping with him in the rocker for hours at a time. Naps during the day have decreased to 3 or 4 with at least one being an hour (or sometimes longer!!). I'm feeling good about what I'm able to accomplish during the day. If only we'd get good sleep at night. Kalin's more mobile now. I have to watch him much more closely and spend much of my day on the floor with him playing.

9 Months. Still having a hard time at night and I'm having a hard time putting Kalin down for a nap. *Enter my first blog post on the Ferber Method here* It's starting to get dark early now so we don't always get our family walks in. Kalin and I start to find the time during the day to take our walk. Kalin's all over the place. He follows me everywhere and requires constant attention. Sometimes it's hard to find the time to sit at the computer or make a meal.

Now Kalin sleeps well (with only waking once or twice and being able to put himself back to sleep). And he goes down for a morning nap and an afternoon nap which last an hour and half to two hours each. I'm loving this new norm. I hope it stays for a while. It probably won't.

I'm glad that I can accomplish more during his naps because it's nearly impossible to do anything while he's awake. Which is a good thing I guess because most of the time what he wants and needs from me is attention and a playmate.